A Bit of a Handful
The boys are back, blitzed, out and partying like it's 1999. Oh those out of hand, at hand, on hand, hands on princes. Goodness gracious me.
by Maggie from London
Hands-um Wills may have suffered from a second hangover after his handiwork was photographed and splashed across the tabloids. Hands on heart, I mean breast.
'I thought it couldn't be the future king ' but now I've seen the picture it's no wonder he has a smile on his face! He has big manly hands and certainly knows what to do with them.'
'He has big manly hands and certainly knows what to do with them''really. Certainly sounds suspiciously like a tabloid source having quite a laugh at the office. This allegedly from student Ana Ferreira who announced to the press the moment of moments shared with Prince William.
'I was a little bit drunk myself but felt something brush my breast.' To be honest, from the pictures it looks like a 'brush' rather than a full-on, hands-on 'squeeze' as has been reported. But then again, I wasn't there.
'I didn't really know what to do so made a silly gesture with my hand, giving a big peace sign. (Not V for victory then?) Now as you can see William clearly knew what HE was doing with his hand!'
The future king downed shots of sambuca resulting in his ungainly gyrating on a
podium in the Elements nightclub in nearby Bournemouth on Thursday night as
stunned revellers preserved the sight of him 'dancing' on their mobiles.
Less than 48 hours before William had grabbed another available party-goer, 19-year-old Lisa Agar, She reported that he 'was quite affectionate and touchy-feely. And he definitely wasn't a shy boy."
Lisa also told the thrilled tabloids how William failed to mention queen-in-waiting, Miss-'he's lucky to have me'-Middleton once all evening as he requested her to dance to hits like the Baywatch theme (now that is scary) before inviting her back to his barracks. Lisa said that a male friend was included and apparently PW passed out in a chair after imbibing enough to kill a cow.
MmM was photographed without her practiced plastic future queen face on and now she has lodged an official complaint as a result of media 'harassment'. The caption under the displeased MmM: 'Look out Wills, here comes an heir-bashing,' suggesting the reason for her unpleasant expression was Wills' 'laddish escapades involving a couple of attractive girls'. Back in the papers the day after Will's second corporeal encounter? She dismissively dismissed the groping incidents. What would the girl do without her Machiavellian mother?
Kate told a friend: "It's something I expect. There will always be girls throwing themselves at him and members of the press making something of it. It means nothing to me." Throwing? Look again, Kate.
Not to be excluded from princely partying, Harry has been quite the handful himself.
Friends have said: "' there is growing concern that Harry is starting to get himself a reputation as a 'waster'. Harry is seen as the spare to William's heir. As a result, he gets far more leeway than his elder brother.' Not from where I am sitting. Both boys seem to be drunk and disorderly every (other) night.
"The feeling is however that unless he uses that freedom wisely, he will be seen as nothing more than a playboy prince dabbling at war games because he has nothing better to do with his life. That would be incredibly unfair on him, of course, but Harry needs to start watching his back." And his hands.
Harry has been expressing his friendship by getting close and closer to his friend, Natalie Pinkham - by means of physical propinquity. Observers tell of intimate dancing, roaming hands'close friends, very close indeed. And then there was that kiss last summer'caught on camera.
During the latest inebriated episode, chaos ensued when Ms Pinkham exited via the main entrance of the toffs' nightclub of choice, Boujis, at 3am and Harry tried to slip out of the back - but ran straight into a mass of panting photographers. "He was very drunk," said Mr Tanner, one of those in waiting. "I took a few shots and he just came for me. He knows me because I've taken his pictures before and I have never had a problem with him.
"He screamed at me to 'Fuck off' then grabbed me and tried to shove me over. He had his hands around my collar and back. "It was an assault. I've never known anything like it before."
Hands in pockets boys? Simply a suggestion. Perhaps they should just sit on them.
Bye for now,
Maggie is from Manhattan, where she was a painter, then designer of clothing, objects, textiles, interiors while writing for various publications and her own webzine. She is permanently based in London, the city of irony, from where she writes regularly to her gal pal Lulu in New York.
You can read her amusing tales about London's daily life, people, current events, politics, fashion and culture at her website www.lettersfromlondon.com.
You can also read more of Maggie's letters to Lulu at Letters from London on this site.