Savvy womens Magazine


Wake Up And Smell The Coffee!

But isn't it really, make the coffee?

from Maggie in London

Hi Lulu,

It has been reported that women are the most depressed at the end of the first year of marriage'not the seventh, eleventh, nineteenth, thirty-first, ad inf.

Could it be the consequence of the 'who is this exactly?' syndrome which occurs when a woman turns over to look at her lightly snoring, drooling husband to hear herself say inaudibly: 'Who is this guy sleeping on my nice new pale green 100% Egyptian Cotton pillow case and matching sheets who knows my bank PIN?'

Could it be the disappointment, the death of the dream, the routine, or worse - the drudgery of domesticity?

Certainly not according to the Discovery Home and Health TV research. They report that 59% of women interviewed love (love?) housekeeping, while 60% found it 'mentally therapeutic' (for whom?). This even after they learned that if they are between 18-80 they will spend nine years, two months and twenty-five days of their adult (or a dolt) waking life cleaning and tidying.

Only a paltry, pathetic 4% admitted that cleaning was a 'waste of time and effort'. They must have been the very ones who spent their teenage years questioning their own apron-clad-house-cleaning mothers whenever they were told to make their beds. Why make it if they are going to remake it in just 16 hours? A cycle that appeared to be absurd at the very least.

70% had fear of being labeled lazy if things were left untidy and anyone found out. 60% cleaned up before their cleaner arrived. 64% were made happy and 'visually joyful' and 'proud of their achievements' after being admittedly exhausted from cleaning. 33% claimed 'cleaning gives them more satisfaction than sex.'

Executive producer of the Discovery Home and Health TV channel's 'Cleanoholics' series views cleaning as the new therapy. 'British women feel happier and more in control of their lives when their home is clean and tidy ' and judging by their high-powered cleaning habits there are more desperate housewives on this side of the Atlantic than the other.' That may well be, but these dismal, desperate domestics aren't filling out deposit slips for at least $1million an episode, are they?

Surely these dust cloth in hand women are mad? Stupid? Stepford Wives? Hypnotized? Drugged? Daft? All of the above and more?

Who, being of sound mind, would rather scrub tub residue than design one? Who would rather wear rubber gloves to wash cutlery than perform brain surgery, scalpel in latex-ed hand? Who would rather spend an average '9.70 a week on toxic household cleaning products than on an escapist travel book? A French movie? A summer frock from Primark? Handmade Belgian chocolates? Darlings. You've been duped.

59% said 'untidiness and clutter made them feel tense.' Hmm. That's easy; don't stay home. 71% interviewed held jobs as well as performing in-house maid service. Cleaning took up 2 hours and 23 minutes while personal grooming warranted only 52 minutes.

Dear me. Their schedules must look something like this: up at first light to dress, feed 'I only want mayonnaise on my toast' kids, take the little darlings to school'dress 'have you seen my yellow tie' husband, feed, wave to work'dress, feed, take self to work checking your shoes match'work all day for 1/3 less money than your male counterpart, return home with heavy groceries in the middle of a rain storm, prepare nutritious and delicious dinner acceptable to all, help with advanced maths homework, do first of three piles of laundry, wash dishes from breakfast and dinner, tidy up - which will automatically inspire more thorough cleaning, try not to fall asleep in the bath, get a restful 5 hours sleep and wake up excited and enthusiastic - ready to face another pristine and perfect day ' did I mention Stepford Wives?

Feminism must have been something I dreamt.


Maggie xx

About the Author:
Maggie is from Manhattan, where she was a painter, then designer of clothing, objects, textiles, interiors while writing for various publications and her own webzine. She is permanently based in London, the city of irony, where she writes regularly to her gal pal Lulu in New York.  

You can read her amusing tales about London's daily life, people, current events, politics, fashion and culture at her website