Wake Up And Smell The Coffee!
But isn't it really, make the coffee?
from Maggie in London
Hi Lulu,
It has been reported that women are the
most depressed at the end of the first year of
marriage'not the seventh, eleventh, nineteenth,
thirty-first, ad inf.
Could it be the consequence of the 'who is this
exactly?' syndrome which occurs when a woman turns over
to look at her lightly snoring, drooling husband to hear
herself say inaudibly: 'Who is this guy sleeping on my
nice new pale green 100% Egyptian Cotton pillow case and
matching sheets who knows my bank PIN?'
Could it be the disappointment, the death of the dream,
the routine, or worse - the drudgery of domesticity?
Certainly not according to the Discovery Home and
Health TV research. They report that 59% of women
interviewed love (love?) housekeeping, while 60% found
it 'mentally therapeutic' (for whom?). This even after
they learned that if they are between 18-80 they will
spend nine years, two months and twenty-five days of
their adult (or a dolt) waking life cleaning and
tidying.
Only a paltry, pathetic 4% admitted that cleaning was a
'waste of time and effort'. They must have been the very
ones who spent their teenage years questioning their own
apron-clad-house-cleaning mothers whenever they were
told to make their beds. Why make it if they are going
to remake it in just 16 hours? A cycle that appeared to
be absurd at the very least.
70% had fear of being labeled lazy if things were left
untidy and anyone found out. 60% cleaned up before their
cleaner arrived. 64% were made happy and 'visually
joyful' and 'proud of their achievements' after being
admittedly exhausted from cleaning. 33% claimed
'cleaning gives them more satisfaction than sex.'
Executive producer of the Discovery Home and Health TV
channel's 'Cleanoholics' series views cleaning as the
new therapy. 'British women feel happier and more in
control of their lives when their home is clean and tidy
' and judging by their high-powered cleaning habits
there are more desperate housewives on this side of the
Atlantic than the other.' That may well be, but these
dismal, desperate domestics aren't filling out deposit
slips for at least $1million an episode, are they?
Surely these dust cloth in hand women are mad? Stupid?
Stepford Wives? Hypnotized? Drugged? Daft? All of the
above and more?
Who, being of sound mind, would rather
scrub tub residue than design one? Who would rather wear
rubber gloves to wash cutlery than perform brain
surgery, scalpel in latex-ed hand? Who would rather
spend an average '9.70 a week on toxic household
cleaning products than on an escapist travel book? A
French movie? A summer frock from Primark? Handmade
Belgian chocolates? Darlings. You've been duped.
59% said 'untidiness and clutter made them feel tense.'
Hmm. That's easy; don't stay home. 71% interviewed held
jobs as well as performing in-house maid service.
Cleaning took up 2 hours and 23 minutes while personal
grooming warranted only 52 minutes.
Dear me. Their schedules must look something like this:
up at first light to dress, feed 'I only want mayonnaise
on my toast' kids, take the little darlings to
school'dress 'have you seen my yellow tie' husband,
feed, wave to work'dress, feed, take self to work
checking your shoes match'work all day for 1/3 less
money than your male counterpart, return home with heavy
groceries in the middle of a rain storm, prepare
nutritious and delicious dinner acceptable to all, help
with advanced maths homework, do first of three piles of
laundry, wash dishes from breakfast and dinner, tidy up
- which will automatically inspire more thorough
cleaning, try not to fall asleep in the bath, get a
restful 5 hours sleep and wake up excited and
enthusiastic - ready to face another pristine and
perfect day ' did I mention Stepford Wives?
Feminism must have been something I dreamt.
Love,
Maggie xx
About the Author:
Maggie is from Manhattan, where she was a painter, then designer of clothing,
objects, textiles, interiors while writing for various publications and her own webzine.
She is permanently based in London, the city of irony,
where she writes regularly to her gal pal Lulu in New
York.
You can read her
amusing tales about London's daily life, people, current
events, politics, fashion and culture at her website
www.lettersfromlondon.com.
.jpg&contenttype=jpeg)