Me, My Cars and I
by Verena Berger
Cars are important to most people. I learned that thirty years ago when, while introducing my boyfriend, I received eye-brow-lifting nods of approval - not for him - for his car. Even my boss was impressed, "I like this young man already. He drives a Volvo."
So that's what the metallic green car was;
so that's what the "V" on the hood stood for. Volvo. All
I knew was that I didn't like the seats; they felt
either cold and slippery or hot and sticky. They were
leather.
For me a car is nothing more than a means of
transportation. It gets me from a to b. As long as the
engine starts when I turn the key, I'm happy. Over the
years I have driven different cars but all I remember
about them is their color. And their temperament.
There was the schoolbus-coloured VW van. (I remember VW
because they are my and my husband's initials.) This
van's "tic" was the battery light. When it came on, I
had to pull over, get out, squeeze under the front of
the car and wiggle a wire. This became a real problem
once I was seven months' pregnant.
We traded the yellow van for a used aqua-blue
station-something that stopped running whenever it felt
like it. Naturally, it mostly happened on the hottest
summer days while my baby and toddler exercised their
vocal cords. We pushed the vehicle to a safe spot and
let the car (and kids) cool off.
Five years later, a second-hand sandy-beige van replaced
the aqua-blue station-something. The van was a real
bargain and was supposed to be perfect for chauffeuring
kids to and from school and extracurricular activities.
Unfortunately, its maintenance cost more than mine. It
was notorious for its engine failure.
We matured to a two-vehicle family and I received an
olive-green hand-me-down all to myself. That
rust-speckled car earned me the title:
"Queen-of-flat-tires" at a local tire store.
Obviously, I was ambivalent about "bonding" with cars. I
liked them when I needed them and hated them when they
didn't perform. I never gave a car a second thought; I
had much more important worries.
Worries such as how to efficiently make my way through
the aisles of the grocery store and hopefully pick the
quickest moving line at the cash register. (I have a
busy life.) By the time I was done with my shopping I
often had forgotten where I left my means of
transportation. Pushing the full buggy, I would circle
the parking lot from the outside in, searching for my
car, hoping nobody noticed my incompetence.
One day, as I marched toward the sandy-beige van, I
grabbed the key out of my purse promising my kids dinner
at McDonald's, if only they would behave a few more
minutes. I inserted the key, but it wouldn't turn in the
lock. While the children started a fist fight around my
freshly bought eggs, I wiggled the key out and tried
again.
Suddenly, the window was pulled down from the inside and
a friendly young woman asked, "Can I help you?"
I did what any mature mother would do: I jumped, threw
the keys in the air and screamed.
My life changed drastically though, when we bought my
brand-new Honda CR-V. "The perfect blend of freedom and
sporty fun." My CR-V has an "In-line-4-cylinder engine"
, is fully loaded with "air conditioned filtration
system" , "power door and tailgate lock" and includes a
"five year no-nonsense warranty." From the first day I
owned it, I felt it. The bonding. I breathed in deeply
the new vinyl and fabric-scent. I caressed the
dashboard. I wanted to name it. I loved it. I wiped my
dog's paws before allowing her to jump in; I became a
regular at the car wash. I took detours driving home. Me
and my car, we fit.
My husband placed two colorful stickers, reading "I am
Canadian," on each side window so that I would no longer
embarrass myself (and him, we live in a small town) by
fondling with other people's car locks. But that was not
going to be a problem anymore. I had bonded with my
Honda. Or so I thought.
Last week I parked, grabbed a buggy, rushed inside the
grocery store and - as always - worried, how fast I
could get my shopping done. Once again I picked the
wrong line up at the cash register. The customer ahead
of me wanted this and that price-checked, demanded the
groceries boxed and finally needed a carton of
cigarettes which had to be fetched from the other side
of the store.
Finally done, I hurriedly pushed my full shopping cart
toward the Honda CR-V. I took the remote control key out
of my jacket pocket and pointed to the back door.
Nothing happened. 'Could the battery be empty already?',
I wondered.
"Just a minute," I heard someone say.
"I'll open my car
and you can fill it with your groceries."
Dumbfounded I looked at a middle-aged man who laughed,
"That is my car."
After a moment he added, "Your silver-grey Honda is
probably the one over there, the one with the stickers
on the windows."
"Thank you," I mumbled, turned my beet-red face and my
buggy around and marched in the opposite direction.
I think my next car should be Barbie-pink.
About the Author:
Verena Berger lives and writes in Williams Lake, the
heart of British Columbia, Canada. When she is not
struggling with cars, traffic, kids or dogs, she is
probably shoveling snow or counting the days until it
snows again.


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