I Can't Get That Song Out of My Head
by Marcia Breitenbach
Live a More Balanced and Happier Life
Do you want to live a life of more ease, happiness, balance and prosperity? Of course you do! And you'd like it to not take up too much of your time, energy and efforts, right?
I discovered a way, a shortcut, really, to living a better life. As a therapist, and seeker, I have read hundreds of self-help books, and attended various and sundry workshops. I'm happy to report, I got a lot out of most of them. However, I also realized that I was going to have to spend every waking hour for the rest of my life, just to practice all the things I was learning. I wore myself out trying to figure out how to complete myself, balance my yin and yang, and how to communicate effectively with the world! Well I discovered something better than therapy, and it costs a lot less.
Music Is Sneaky
Have you ever had that experience of having a song take
up residence in your brain space? Without a formal
invitation, it just moves right in and starts setting up
housekeeping? You sing it over and over. The worst time
of day for this to happen is when you're settling in to
sleep; even worse, I think, is when you wake up in the
middle of the night with the song there. Even if you
like the song, you can't sing it out loud and enjoy it
and wake up the household. You just have to lie there
and listen to the concert in your head and hope that
intermission is long enough for you to get back to
I'll share with you one of the times that I had a song 'brain-guest.' I was going through a rough spot in my marriage. My ex (as you can see, the spot developed into a huge stain) and I were having one of those days where we were inhabiting the same space, but it might as well have been two separate planets, for all the communication that was happening. (Yes, I've read that book too, you know, the planets one). On that day, I was cleaning the kitchen, and singing. There was no radio or CD on, and there had been no music playing this particular day, so I didn't pick the song up in that way.
My soon-to-be ex-husband appeared out of nowhere and asked me, with an accusing tone of voice, 'Why are you singing that?' I stopped in mid-song and tried to figure out what I was singing! Whatever it was, it had a nice rhythm, and was helping me to make my cleaning go easier. Oh yeah, the lyrics I had just sung were, 'They say that breaking up is hard to do, now I know, I know that it's true.'
Oops. I looked at him, and you could see the truth reflected in both of our therapists' eyes. (Yes, he's one too, a potentially dangerous combination for a relationship if you ask me!). So, as I reflected back on my day, I remembered that I had been singing that song off and on all day long! (By the way, the next line goes, 'Instead of breaking up I wish that we were making up again.' Just to let you know, I'm especially happy that we didn't.')
Music Can Give You Clues
You can see that it's a good idea to pay attention to
the music coming out of your mouth, if only to alert you
to an issue that needs some attention. No, not every
song has meaning in this way, but some of them will. And
most likely, it will be a message about taking care of
yourself in some way, some part of you calling out for
attention. They may not all be as obvious as my example,
so you may have to work with them the way you would with
Music can have this diagnostic function, but the very thing that annoys you (the looping of that song in your head, over and over and over) can also save you from yourself.
Sub-Conscious Beliefs Rule Your Roost
I don't know all the scientific lingo about brains and
how they work, but I do know the basics. You've got your
conscious mind, and you've got the unconscious (I'm
using subconscious and unconscious in this article to be
the same thing). Did you know that a lot of what holds
you back from getting what you want is the subconscious
Each one of us carries deep within us subconscious beliefs that contribute to our actions, and thus the actual conditions of our lives. If we believe at this level that we only deserve a certain amount of happiness, or that life is a struggle, that it's hard to make money, or that we are unworthy of very much, then we act accordingly. As a therapist working with others and myself on changing the circumstances in our lives, I have come to the realization that it is imperative to modify our beliefs. And, as a musician, I have found that music can be the tool to heal your soul, change these beliefs, and thus to change your life.
About the Author:
Marcia Breitenbach is a songwriter, speaker, therapist and devoted mother whose songs are traveling across the globe. You can download her songs for free by joining her unique ezine, the Songletter, at www.thesongletter.com