Savvy womens Magazine


Six Ways to Snag A Geek

I'm one.  So is my husband.

I like to crochet, clean, and would much rather spend a Saturday night in a bookstore than out in a club.

by Cherie Burbach

Cherie BurbachWhen I first met my husband he had attended Gen Con fifteen straight times. (That's a gaming convention, for those of you that don't know.)

We are' geeks. Of course.

There is the stereotype of geek as single person. He or she is on every sitcom as that odd little friend that just can't get a date. And worse, doesn't seem to understand why.

But geeks, misunderstood though they can be, are actually great as mates. Once you realize where they are coming from, their odd little habits will actually begin to seem very sweet. Following are six tips to help you out:

1) Find Them Online

Geeks generally feel misunderstood and tend to hang out at odd places that aren't frequented by the general public. Their social skills are a bit lacking but they do love technology and will no doubt try online dating at some point. This is a benefit for you as non-geek, because searching for them will be quite easy.

Geeks are proud of their odd habits so they will probably list them right in their profile. If you come across someone that says they love the computer, Star Wars, or gaming, you've likely got yourself a geek.

2) Cool Online, Goofy in RL (That's real life for non-geeks)

You'll no doubt be instantly attracted to your geek online even before you meet him or her. They are usually very comfortable with technology, and as a result, can create witty emails like nobody's business. But get them in front of you for a real date and you might wonder if they had someone else writing the emails for them.

They're less comfortable in face-to-face situations at first, and may appear socially awkward. (Embarrassingly so.) Patience is the key here; because once you get them to relax they'll once again show you that charming silly side that first warmed your heart.

3) Make the First Move

You may be used to making the first move in the online world (after all, we all know by now that you can't wait for someone to contact you if you're interested) but when you're dating a geek you may have to make the first move on your dates as well.

Go with your instincts here, and if you are feeling that you'd like a second date, go right ahead and ask. Your geek may smile shyly but chances are they'll be interested and just unable to tell you.

4) Be Yourself

This is important advice for anyone in the dating world, but especially so if you want to snag a geek. Keep in mind that geeks are not interested in being cool. After all, they first became geeks by doing uncool things at school while they hung out with people that were equally as nerdy as they were. But they didn't care. They did what made them happy and if that meant they weren't popular, so be it. With this mindset the worst thing you can do is try to be something you aren't.

Spending time with your geek should give you confidence to explore the things in life that you never wanted to do for fear of seeming odd. So, using my example of crocheting, if you love it ' do it! Your geek will appreciate your uniqueness even if it's something they aren't into.

5) Try to Understand Their Hobbies

No, you don't have to memorize all the Star Wars movies or be able to list the locations of all the Games Workshops in the world, but you should become familiar with your mate's hobbies just a little. Don't pretend to love their hobbies when you don't but you should at least want to find out the basics.

You may have no interest whatsoever in knowing how to paint miniatures or exactly what kind of action figures are worth money, but your geek will appreciate you taking an interest and that reason alone should motivate you to educate yourself in their world.

The reciprocal of this is that your geek will want to also know more about you, making you both feel more understood and comfortable.

6) Their Actions and Gifts May Seem Unromantic

Geeks are all about the unique. They're not going to buy you some boring flowers or give you a sappy card, they're going to wow you with the most specific thing they can think of to show you how much they care.

For example, my husband-to-be paid attention one day when we were watching a commercial for a new toilet cleaning wand. I immediately said, 'Wow, I want to try that!' A few days later he surprised me with a box of the wands and two refills. Being a geek myself I appreciated this gift like you wouldn't believe, it made me understand that he loved me enough to love my odd cleaning hobby. But had I not been a geek, this act might have seemed as lame and impersonal.

About the Author:
Cherie Burbach is the author of two books of poetry, The Difference Now, and A New Dish, as well as At the Coffee Shop, a humorous look at the world of Internet dating. Cherie works as a consultant for PersonalsTrainer in which she helps online daters write great profiles that catch attention. Watch for her new novel, For Those Who Knew Zach, coming soon. For more information, please visit her website at