Savvy womens Magazine


So You're Married' Now What?

You can't stop thinking about it all: how well the day went, what the flowers looked like, how beautiful you were and what a wonderful, happy occasion it was. Now you're back -- and not just back from your trip. You're back to 'normal' life.

by Karen Frum

You can't stop thinking about it all: how well the day went, what the flowers looked like, how beautiful you were and what a wonderful, happy occasion it was. You have fleeting glimpses of specific moments, when you walked down the aisle, your first dance, your bouquet toss.

You married your prince charming and dashed off to your island honeymoon, soaked up the sun and spent many, many hours canoodling with your honey.

Now you're back -- and not just back from your trip. You're back to 'normal' life. A life without a series of lists, calls to make, things to plan, and an event to dream up. Now what?

The return to everyday life and work after any vacation can be debilitating. After a wedding and honeymoon, that feeling can be magnified times twenty. Resuming daily life can be a bit of a downer: there is no big party to look forward to anymore ' in fact you don't really know what you should look forward to at this point.

You had arranged your schedule to plan your wedding ' now those hours are empty, or seemingly devoid of purpose. Worst of all, you're left with the 'clean-up' items: thank-you cards, a dress to clean, gifts to return, a photo album to put together.

You might have felt overwhelmed with everything you had to do before the wedding. Now you feel bummed, and a little lost.
Looking for a little pick-me-up? Here are some strategies that can help.

Plan your next getaway

Yes, you did just get back from a tropical paradise; however in many cases, you may feel that it was too short or that you didn't get the rest you wanted. It may take you longer to unwind.

After all, you did do more than just a few weeks of wedding planning!

Dreaming up your next adventure is a good way to set a future milestone when you and your new husband can recapture your honeymoon bliss and expand your memories together. Even if money is tight, a weekend getaway at a nearby resort or bed & breakfast can still provide plenty of R&R to look forward to.

Relish the moment

The memories of your special day will last a lifetime but they will never be as fresh and crisp as right after the event. You captured mental pictures of sights and sounds, of the expressions on your guests' faces and conversations you shared with them.

All of these images are in focus without the need for pictures and they are even more special because of it.

Savoring your memories and relishing the fact that you are, for now, a newlywed, is an important part of acknowledging the life-changing experience you have just undergone. And let's face it: while there may be no official expiration date on the term newlywed (any dictionary will tell you a newlywed is a person who is recently married), how long can you claim to be one?

Reallocate your time

While you may feel a little disoriented with the time you now have on your hands, you can turn these newfound hours to your advantage.

Focus on the hobbies you may have cast aside in order to plan your wedding, along with all of the other activities you used to take part in before you got engaged.

Determining which of these is most important to you will help you prioritize how much of your newfound time should be allocated to them.

Whether it's home improvement, spending more time at the gym, spending more time with friends or taking classes, re-working these hobbies into your life will help to alleviate your post-wedding blues and help you feel more productive.

Keep up your motivation

As daunting as all those thank-you's may seem, the earlier you get to them, the easier the task will get. Months down the line you may have forgotten the special words someone said, or how much fun they had at your wedding. Sending your thanks as early as you can also ensures your guests know how touched you were by their gesture.

If the thought of writing saps your energy, take the process one step at a time. No need to allocate all of your newfound free time at once! Writing three or four notes a day can help ease the burden.

If working with your new photos is more appealing, you may find it more fun to start working with your photographer, fitting in a few thank-you notes here and there as time allows.

Finally, remember him!

There is one reason why you got married, and that's to spend the rest of your life with your honey. As crazy as the last few months have been, he is the reason behind it all. Making sure you spend time together every day and keep open lines of communication can help lay the groundwork for a successful marriage.

Both of you shared intense moments together that create a powerful springboard for moving forward.

There's never been a better time to get to know each other better ' so save up some energy for the good stuff!

About the Author:
Karen Frum is a freelance writer based in New York, NY. When she isn't pursuing her passion for writing, Karen is training for her next marathon.