Wanted: Single Women Seeking Men
Single women of the world, rejoice! John Hinckley is desperate, dateless and seeking a new partner.
by Joan Geary
Ms. "Above-average, 46 year old SDF looking for a SWM age 40-55 for LTR", it's your Red Letter Day! According to recent news reports, John Hinckley is looking for an intimate relationship.
Let's face it. An association with this guy has a few things going for it if you're an independent woman. First, you won't have to see him everyday. It'd be one of those long distance relationships, more of a visitor type thing than a day after day arrangement. He isn't going to be the guy to see you with no makeup, shaving your legs or coloring your roots. The romance might last a bit longer with this man.
For you control freaks, there's an extra bonus. It will be totally up to you when, where and how you get together. No fears about him showing up unannounced - he won't. You'll be totally in the driver's seat, and you won't have to worry about him borrowing your car.
He won't be asking to move in with you. You'll never have to cook for him. He's financially secure. The government has been taking care of his room, board and basic needs since 1982.
There will be no arguments about whether to vacation in the Caribbean or at some ski resort. He's evolved into a more stay-at-home type of guy over the past couple of decades.
As for you insecure types - relax - you'll never have to wonder where he is.
After 23 years of private psychotherapy, he's bound to be in touch with his sensitive side. If you're emotionally needy, you're in luck. He's intense, passionate and devoted. You'll be on his mind day and night while he'll follow you eagerly anywhere you go - just ask Jodie Foster.
Come to think of it, besides being a celebrity, he's a real straight shooter, a character trait easily confirmed by the Reagans and the Bradys. Ladies, he's a genuine find.
John Hinckley is lonely. He recently broke up with his long-time girlfriend and is desperately seeking his new Ms. Right. If you're interested, you'd better hurry. Hollywood just might grab him. I've got a feeling he'd make the perfect candidate for a new reality show. How about Less-than-Average Joe or The New Bachelor, Literally A Wild & Crazy Guy?
About the Author:
Joan Geary is a successful freelance writer from New Hampshire. Her articles are regularly published in newspapers and consumer magazines.